view from my desk...

the moral superiority of monogamy?

This post is inspired by comments of a few friends about the falsity of the moral superiority of monogamy, and recent events where once again I was involved in a non-monogamous not-relationship that went bad...

Non-monogamy plays on my fears of abandonment, especially in time-scarce existence. Intimate relationships require extensive temporal resources - and its not just structured date time, but hanging around the house, watching films, reading time, just being in the same space time that I love. And then there's the emotional and intellectual resources. I desire to spend time with someone I chose to be in a relationship with - how do I know you will choose me to share your time, emotion and intellect with if there are a number of choices?

I do not subscribe to the whole one-true-love school of life, but I only have the means for one at a time - how could you have enough for many?

outta my head...

It's happened... the inevitable crash after the dizzying high... everything has been going well and this time it has not been as dramatic, and neither was the high. Maybe it is a sign I am growing up, coping, or finally finding that illusive medium in life. But it still fundamentally feels the same - utter hopelessness and frustration at no particular, identifiable thing - just at everything. Rationally I know that I shouldn't feel this way - things are going well - a job in which I feel I am meaningfully contributing to society, an almost completed degree which I love, am good at and which it appears has a good chance that it will take me where I want, people who I love and who love me... but I still want out of my head right now